A compilation of puppies first bath photos… how scary it is, isn’t it little puppies!
LITTLE CLEAN WOOFS
Ive got 99 problems and remembering usernames and passwords is probably all of them
The beautiful United States of America.
I hope those urls were worth your souls
talkin about souls, hi babe
my ex is still logged into twitter on my phone
i could be cliche and tweet ‘I’m a DOUCHEEE lol’
every few days i will tweet something he would totally say
but he will never remember tweeting it
slowly the slightly out of place tweets will drive him insane
you are satan
to stop kids from doing drugs they should just give the drugs less cool names
if ecstasy was called “moist curdle” i can assure you that nobody would be interested in trying it
if i was a ghost id help little kids with math and throw vases at mean people
how the fuck does a ghost help people with math whatchu gonna boo at the kid till they can count to 23???? it doesnt work like that. reevaluate your life please
somebody isnt getting help with their math when im a ghost
The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"
"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself
Who are you
Whats your favorite color
Favorite ice cream flavor
Do you have a cat
reblogging again bc I already got some from really cute people, but it makes me unreasonably happy to read these from you SO KEEP ON SENDING THEM
tea is leaf water, coffee is bean water, soda is sugar water, people are blood water, everything is just fucking water
anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”
It’s funny that the Great Gatsby won an Oscar for best costumes because Leo’s clothes literally won an Oscar before he did
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